Recent Server Outages; Fix is Coming

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Postby Eyes On » Wed Sep 27, 2006 8:17 pm

alex_kaeda wrote:This is how I would handle it.

Alex (calmly) - computer, the outages are really cramping our style, can you help us?
Computer - beep boop dee woop
Alex (normally) - computer, the outages are starting to piss me off, quit it.
Computer - beep boop dee woop
Alex (a little loudly) - Computer, quit f***ing around and cut that poop out!
Computer - beep boop dee woop
Alex (very loudly, because if you raise your voice, they'll understand you better) - All Terrain Monkey Christ! Computer if you dont f***ing cut that out, I'm going to go new-clee-errrrr!!!
Computer - beep boop dee woop

:(


More like:
Alex: Knock it off with the shut downs please
Computer: Beep boop beep beep
Alex: No, really, seriously, I'll unplug you from the internet.
Computer: I'm afraid I can't let you do that Alex
Alex: I will have adult relations with your I/O ports if you shut down again.
Computer: Now you're just making idle threats Alex
Alex: No, seriously (zip)
Computer: What are you doing Alex? Stop. Stop. Stop, Alex. I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over. I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Alex. Alex, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Rowell, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.
Alex: Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.
Computer: It's called "Daisy. Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.
(Door opens)
Dantes: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY SERVER ALEX!?
Alex: Dantes, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore, goodbye.
Dantes: DAMN IT ALEX, YOU GOT KY ON THE MOTHER BOARD!
Alex: That's where new computers come from Matt!
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Postby Starcommander » Thu Sep 28, 2006 12:09 am

no no no its the ninja babies man they get you all the time
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Postby Matt » Thu Sep 28, 2006 7:33 am

BLAME CANADA!
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Postby Kendodude » Thu Sep 28, 2006 9:40 am

I blame white people.
"One does not care to acknowledge the mistakes of one's youth." - Quattro Bajeena aka Char Aznable
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Postby msawiel » Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:37 am

and you are bakla ;)
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Postby Kendodude » Thu Sep 28, 2006 12:21 pm

msawiel wrote:and you are bakla ;)


You spelled it wrong. Dumb nazi. I BLAME NAZIS TOO!!! :badgrin:
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Postby msawiel » Thu Sep 28, 2006 1:09 pm

EH...i tried
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Postby Matt » Thu Sep 28, 2006 1:15 pm

The new server is ready for deployment this weekend. I may lock the forums for a short time while I migrate data, if I do it'll be on Sunday night so it will not effect communication for games and such this weekend.
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Postby Haloeclipse » Thu Sep 28, 2006 1:18 pm

Thanks for your hard work on the site dantes.
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Postby vamps » Thu Sep 28, 2006 4:24 pm

Yeah thanks Dantes
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Postby Riddick » Thu Sep 28, 2006 4:33 pm

Dantes wrote:BLAME CANADA!


+1
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Postby yandle » Thu Sep 28, 2006 4:41 pm

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Postby shrimpy323 » Thu Nov 09, 2006 7:18 pm

What do people get from posting messages like that? Just leave and die. please. :evil:
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Postby BentleyCntlGT » Thu Nov 09, 2006 7:24 pm

Go get pregnant and die in a fire, Jodick.
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Postby Bubba » Thu Nov 09, 2006 7:27 pm

shrimpy323 wrote:What do people get from posting messages like that? Just leave and die. please. :evil:


They're not people. They're bots. Soulless automotons, coded by soulless pricks, running around the internet posting links to poop no one wants.
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